stevievan.com

…Alaska’s flag, what it means to you…” That is what I remember of the opening line of the pledge to the Alaskan flag. I lived there from 1973 until I left for college in 1983. My folks left Anchorage in 1991, and my sister in 1995.

As most of you know, our small frontier state is now front and center in the national spotlight (and it’s not because of Senator Ted Stevens this time!). Governor Sarah Palin has been named as John McCain’s running mate for the Republican ticket for president of these United States! Way to go, Mrs. Palin!

Now don’t go asking me questions about her politics or track record. I am embarrassed to say that I haven’t quite kept up w/ Alaskan politics in the last 200 years, except for the occasional sighting of Don Young or Ted Stevens in the news (I saw from a distance Sen Stevens at the Rotunda for former President Gerald Ford’s service. He didn’t look too good…). Now, Alaska is back on the map.

I’m guessing I’ll be seeing more of Mrs. Palin in my local Charlotte newspaper over the next 67 days. Imagine my surprise when I saw the name of Andrew Halcro, who went to my high school for a short time in the early 80’s. I remember his sister more; she was really cute! I was about 5 years too young, though. Oh well, my Amy is happy for that.

Andrew is a force in state politics in Alaska. He has a blog href=”http://andrewhalcro.com/”>http://andrewhalcro.com/ where he keeps up w/ local politics. He’s not very fond of Mrs. Palin, so I’m told.

Guess I’ll have to go and check it out myself. Nice to connect again w/ you, Andrew. Say hello to Damon when you talk to him.

This week was a shocker and a sleeper.

The shocker was my admin, Melissa, has taken another job w/in BGEA at the Billy Graham Library. It’s a promotion for her, and I’m glad that she is able to move up in the organization. The library is getting a great admin, and a great person. We will all miss her work, her personality, and her great cooking (she always brought lots of goodies!)

The sleeper was that I didn’t get much, but I’m not too upset about it. My brother in law Eric Boutieller and his family were visiting, and they love to have a lot of fun…. all the time. I’m not a night owl, and had to still work each day.

One fun thing Eric and I did was attend the Church Basement Roadshow, hosted in Charlotte by my friend Steve Knight. Doug Padgitt (who is really tall!), Tony Jones (who went to seminary!), and Mark Scandrette (who lives in San Francisco!) were entertaining and thought provoking. As I’m not an articulate writer or even an articulate thinker, that’s all I’m writing about it so far. Thanks Doug for letting me shine on the trombone. Mark, I’m probably a traditionalist that wants to be a creative thinker. Tony, I liked your comments best; especially the idea about coming down from 30,000 ft and touching the ground.

Oh, I went shooting w/ my dad and son at Uwharrie National Forest outside of Albemarle. We enjoyed a great 100yd range. I’m glad my dad taught me about firearms at a young age.

that’s all for now. Two weddings this weekend, and I love weddings…

Yesterday, my in-laws said goodbye to their cat of 16 years: Sonny Boy. He was a Himalayan cat w/ sass and attitude. Over the last years, his life became a series of spit up, late night whining, and a bladder that couldn’t hold its water. He gave my father in law a great deal of company, and was greatly loved.

Good bye, Sonny Boy.

Well, what a week. Arrive home safe and sound from Romania on Saturday, July 12; waited for my luggage for 1.5 hours. Nothing better to do when you want to get home….at least I didn’t have a connection in Charlotte. Came back to work and hit the ground running w/ a vengeance. Then, got an email that my friend Paul Hendrix’s mom had passed away. Had a bunch of projects pop up toward the end of the week, then I drove to Atlanta on Friday to attend Jackie Hendrix’s funeral, and give some support to Paul.

As the funeral ended (which was so inspirational and truly glorified God; way to go, Steven), a side door opened at the front of the chapel, and the funeral home attendees began to move flowers out of the way; I was presuming to move the casket outside, and onto the burial plot. As the pianist was vamping on the song, “if you could see me now…”, I kept hearing the words “Saying goodbye, saying goodbye..” over and over again in my head. Paul and his family were saying goodbye to their mom, who had fought a good fight and finished the race and was already celebrating w/ Jesus.

And then it hit me….I needed to say goodbye to my mom. During the week of her funeral, and even after it, I was so into “take care of Dad” mode, and trying to keep things going, that I never got to say goodbye… Tammy, Dad, and I were all by her bed when she went to be w/ Jesus, but it just didn’t seem like good bye. So, I said good bye to my mom, my wonderful, loving, awesome Mom. I feel and felt gypped, that she only moved her to Charlotte to move on to heaven. Why couldn’t she be around more? Now, I’m feeling some feelings for her, and missing her. But, I needed to say good bye, and I did.

My prayers will be w/ Paul, Patty, and the whole Hendrix family over the next few weeks. I know they will be saying goodbye to Jackie… and I’m grateful for an opportunity to say goodbye my own Mom.

I have cleared my comments awaiting moderation, thanks to Nick Ciske. Nick, you rock. Thank you Askimet.

My dad and the family are doing well. thanks to everyone for your prayers. We know that God is with us.

To all who have emailed and responded to me in the homegoing of my mom, thank you…. You’re words and letters have meant much to me and my family.

It’s hard to sum up my mom’s life; I wish you all could have known her. We tried to share a little of her personality at the funeral service, but it’s hard to cram 72 years into 1 hour.

I’d like to say a special thanks to the Rev. Maurice Henson, associate pastor at First Baptist Church, Indian Trail, for bringing such a powerful and meaningful message at my mom’s funeral. Because my parents were very new to the church, I was worried about some pastor delivering some eulogetic masterpiece about my mom without even knowing her. What I saw in Maurice was raw conviction, led by the Holy Spirit, to impart words to all of us about God’s love, His presence in our lives during suffering (”The LORD is….”), and to allow Christ into our sufferings (”be still…..”). Thank you, Maurice, for allowing God to use you to minister to me, and my whole family.

Thank you Danny Myers for ministering to my family all day on that fateful Monday of Mom’s passing.

Mark Christian, I love you like a brother. I’m amazed I know someone so talented and caring and deep. Thanks for suffering and rejoicing with us this weekend, and for being part of the family…

Finally, my mom was a forgiving person. Makes me think alot about the Don Henley song about forgiveness; that is the heart of the matter. My mom was alot happier cause she learned how to let go and forgive. That is a lesson we all need to remember. I’m remembering it even now….

Today, my mom passed away.

There, plain, and simple. I have more emotions inside than I care to articulate on the written (or electronic page). But, I also have a strange peace, as I look on my mom’s life, and see that this was all for God’s greater good.

Her cancer had come back, and was all over her body (left breast, upper abdomen, rib cage, lower back). That caused a blood clot in her lung, which sent her into cardiac arrest early this morning. She was non responsive from the time the EMT’s took her to the hospital. She died at around 4:30pm today.

I’m a little numb, and still have a bunch of people to call and arrangements to make, to help my dad. Here’s what I have felt today:

Peace….this didn’t happen w/o my Good God knowing it ahead of time.

Comfort…..God’s mercy was extended to my mom, as she was taken to heaven before she had to endure such crappy suffering w/ aggressive cancer.

Security…..Ps 73:25 and 26 tell us that many times our heart and flesh might fail (like my mom’s did), but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. I know that she found that out at 4:30pm, as she went to be w/ Jesus by His side.

my emotions will rise and fall. I might not be as strong as some of you might think me to be. But the fact of the matter is:

God is good
I’m His Kid
My mom was His child
I will see her again someday.

We don’t sorrow as those who have no hope. I have hope; Jesus and His death and resurrection give me hope. Death is not what God intended; sin has screwed up the world. But God has come to earth to make it right. Thanks be to Him who gives us the victory.

more later. I love you all, and appreciate your prayers for me, my dad, and my sister.

Yesterday (Dec 22), I received an email from my birth dad’s brother, who informed me that my biological father is slipping away and slowly dying….

I was adopted at 3 days old, and have been a VanDusen my whole life. Just over 4 years ago, I made contact w/ my birth mother Patty, and our relationship has been wonderful ever since.

Patty seemed to contact the whole world about our re-connection, including contacting my birth dad’s parents. She received a Christmas Card from my birth dad in 2003, which she didn’t need, and she forwarded it onto me. There was a picture of Robert, my b-dad, in there….A small connection…

I’ve carried that card in my computer case, on trips all over the world. When I have a free moment, I’ll pull it out and look at it, and then try to figure out where to start on a letter to the man who gave me life. Then, the busyness of life takes over, and I just can’t think enough to figure out what to write. Kinda like now….

Now, he is dying. I feel an inextricable pull to get on an airplane and go out there to meet him, and say goodbye. His brother Ron has been taking care of him now. Sounds like cancer is what is eating away at him. I know he’s had a tough life, and that he is interested in spirituality. My prayer is that he will die in peace, and he will find that peace with God thru Christ.

No matter what, he will always be a small part of me. And for that, I am grateful.

“on the road again… just can’t wait to get on the road again…” The strains of that old Willie Nelson song beckon me from time to time. I do love traveling: meeting people, going to unique places, enjoying new experiences, seeing my great God at work around the world. But even an old road guy like me has doubts about loving the road from time to time.

My new job has me staying home alot more, which I do love. I like seeing my beautiful wife and kids more often. It’s been good to enjoy them, and let them even enjoy me (i guess they do). I’m able to be at church each Sunday, which I’m cherishing more and more. And, I’ve finally been able to join some other men on a regular basis in my hometown, and encourage each other. I haven’t had that since about 1999, when we lived in Baltimore.

Once reason I do enjoy traveling, however, is because of the guys that I get to travel with. I have been working on the road with most of these guys for at least 12 years, some of them for 15 years. When you know people for that long, you miss them. I think my Amy understands; I love her, but I do like my buddies too.

Ok, I was talking about traveling. This weekend, I’m working for a former freelance crewer in Baltimore, MD at Towson State. I was flying up from my hometown of Charlotte tonight. Left work in a rush, got to the airport, got on the plane, was ready to take off when the flight attendant asked if anyone wanted to give up their seat for a free ticket! So, I did it! They booked me on the next flight, set to leave about 2 hours later.

Well, that 2 hours has come and gone…I am at the airport, and we are scheduled to take off in about a hour and a half. It just means that I’ll get to bed a little later tonight. So, I’m enjoying something to drink, and the Yankees/Indians game.

Bottom line: while I miss the road, I don’t miss the delays, the security lines, and the headaches. Let me have my warm bed and my soft, beautiful wife anytime!!!!

Wow, how time has flied! It’s nice to have some time to myself and relax a bit.

We had a nice time w/ my birth mom, Miss Patty. I hope she enjoyed her time in Charlotte; we nearly ran her ragged! But I think she enjoyed herself. We were able to get some nice photos, and they are on my flickr account. (see the link on my home page.).

Will talk more soon.